In the run up to Halloween I’d like to return to Hell and meet some more of its denizens.
Welcome to the Hell Interview Channel, brought to you infernally hour after hour.
Name: My name is Daemon Grim
Age (before death and after you ended up in HSM’s domain): I have no idea. I only know I look about thirty-five years old.
Please tell us a little about yourself. I’m the Reaper. And yes, before you ask, I’m that Reaper, Satan’s bounty hunter. As the title implies, I hunt down and silence anyone who is – or is likely to become – a threat to public security, or an embarrassment to His infernal or demonestic policies.
Who were you in life? Please see below answer.
How do you think you ended up in Hell? What sins have you committed? Who I was before I came to Hell, or what I did, I haven’t got a clue. There’s a hole in my mind that prevents the retention of any memories from the time before. My first recollections are of waking up before a roaring log fire, in the presence of His Satanic Majesty himself, and being welcomed home like a long lost son. It was He who invited me into his inner circle, and appointed me to what was to become my true vocation. I haven’t looked back since.
Describe your appearance in 10 words or less. Your worst nightmare, squeezed into a kick-ass, gothic ensemble.
Where do you live in Hell? Tell us about your residence and area. My suite is situated at the top of Black Tower, in what humans would call, the Tower of London, smack-bang in the middle of Olde London Town itself. For those who don’t know, that’s in the Juxtapose level of Hell. I’ve lived there since I can remember. My Hell Hounds, (fellow bounty hunters) and the Inquisitors, (Satan’s Special Interrogators), have their own apartments there as well, so we can be close to our base of operations.
The entire complex and grounds is known throughout the many layers of the Underworld as the Den of Iniquity, but my team and I just refer to it as The Den.
Juxtapose is a great place to live, as its environs constantly blend into other epochs and levels of Hell. You can be walking along a busy, traffic-clogged street one minute, and find yourself having to jump out of the way of a horse-drawn carriage as it clatters along cobbled roads the next. It’s confusing when you first arrive, but once you get used to it, well…I wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else.
Do you have a moral code? If so what is it? Is your moral code the same as it was in life? Yes, I have a moral code, I never lie. That might sound weird, coming from a denizen of Hell, but I’m keenly aware of how my role reflects on Satan’s integrity. So, I always ensure to act in a way that can never be criticized. And when it comes down to it, I’ve found displaying such a trait really strikes fear into the hearts of my prey. Once I’ve been set on you, there’s no escape. I can’t be bribed, fooled, or conned. I don’t feel sorrow or remorse. If you appear on my list, you’re dead. You might as well turn yourself in at the Undertakers and save yourself a lot of bother. Annoy me and make me work for it – and I’ll let my Inquisitors cut you up and feed the choicest parts back, bit by juicy bit, before they let you pass on.
Would you kill for those you love? After all sending someone to the Undertaker is not very nice! I do kill for the one I love! Satan is like the father I never had. I will execute anyone and everyone who crosses him. And sending scum back to the Undertakers is my soul – excuse the pun – purpose in this afterlife. Never forget that. It might save you a whole mountain of grief in the future.
Would you die for those you love? Die, being a relative term…. I’m already dead and impossibly hard to kill. And as I intimated in the last question, I would do absolutely anything for my Dark Father. Your readers need to understand, I’m one hundred percent loyal, and the quickest way to incur my wrath is to try and corrupt me. Don’t ever make that mistake, as my team and I are incredibly inventive when it comes to ways of making you suffer. So inventive, we’ve even made the Undertaker hurl.
Do you have any phobias? Are you plagued by anything particular in Hell? Other than the dread of not being able to track down and capture a fugitive from injustice, I don’t have any phobias. But I must admit, when I’ve been away from the Bâlefire for too long, I get plagued by the strangest dreams of falling stars, burning skies, and gaping pits of dense darkness from which nothing can escape. If only I could understand what they all mean, I think I’d be that bit closer to understanding my origins.
What do you think Satan’s most creative punishment is here? Ha! Without a doubt, the twisted idea of giving the masses what they crave, so long as it’s perverted in some way. For example, there’s nothing quite like witnessing the suffering of some poor fool who happens to be the world’s most accomplished pianist, only to watch him literally crash and burn before an audience. And there’s so many ways to torment them! I’ve watched several souls begin to play, only to forget how to read music midway through their recital. In other cases, their fingers might break during the chorus, or they’ll be driven mad by the notes they hear. I’ve even heard of one idiot who was determined to create a new opus magnum, despite the fact Satan had blighted their hearing, and cursed them with a form of tonal dyslexia. It was hilarious listening to the beginning of an absolute masterpiece, only to watch the performance disintegrate into utter farce by the close of the first movement, because what they’d written ended up sounding like total gibberish.
You can probably appreciate why I love it here so much.
Who are your friends here? Because of the sheer volume of souls I’m sent to reap, I keep my circle of friends small, and limit them to just the Hell Hounds and the Inquisitors.
For those who don’t know them, the Hell Hounds are as follows:
Nimrod, King of Shinar, and my lead Hound. A mighty hunter in opposition to God. Then there’s Yamato Takeru, otherwise known as Prince Ōsu. Yamato is a legendary ninja killer from first century Japan, who brutally murdered everyone who ever stood in his way. My final hunter is a guy called Champ Ferguson, a notorious Confederate guerilla fighter from the American Civil War.
Then we come to the Inquisitors.
First of all, I have to mention the person who keeps me sane. Strawberry Fields, aka Red Riding Hood. She’s a siren of death who will happily eat your liver as she showers you with kisses.
Then there’s Leonard Skeffington, a previous Lieutenant of the Tower of London itself. We affectionately refer to him by the pseudonym, Crusher, as he invented several remarkable torture devices in life that we still use today.
Baron Ferenc Nádasdy, a sixteenth century Hungarian nobleman, and his wife, Elizabeth Báthory come next. While relationships are usually frowned upon in the Underworld, His Satanic Majesty has made an exception for these two.
Ferenc goes by the codename, Red Baron, a tongue-in-cheek reference to the foes he has vanquished in battle. For a denizen of Hell, he’s an honorable man, who prefers to give prisoners a chance to spill the beans before he spills their guts. History refers to his wife as, ‘the Blood Countess’, but we know her as, Nutcracker Sweet, because of her fetish for crushing certain parts of male prisoners anatomy.
Finally, there’s Myra Belle Star, aka, Black Velvet. An infamous outlaw from the end of the nineteenth century, Myra is a crack shot, who has adapted to the position of Inquisitor rather well.
Who are your enemies? Everyone who has ever been condemned to Hell, for I’ve reaped their souls a thousand times, and will continue to do so until creation falls. Then there’s the Sibitti of course. I have a special ‘hate – hate’ relationship with them.
***Kisses guys – I’m keeping my scythe extra sharp – see you soon***
If I recall relationships are… difficult, is this the side of humanity you miss the most? As I mentioned, I don’t recall anything about my previous life. However, I am one of the few denizens who is allowed the freedom of expressing my desires in any way I wish. Of course, my Dark Father has seen fit to capitalize on this golden opportunity in a typically sadistic way. Remember, anyone I touch – skin to skin – dies instantly. A bit of a bummer during those intimate moments, unless that person also happens to have special dispensation, of course.
Ah, you’ve gotta love His sense of humor!
Please give us an interesting and unusual fact about yourself. Despite the fact I’m out and out evil, I have to recharge my essence on a regular basis in one of the most powerful satanic power sources in existence, the Bâlefire. Without its arcane puissance, I would lose my augmented strength and become like anyone else. Weak and pathetic.
Apart from that? I’m really light on my feet, and just so happen to be a pretty good dancer. I’d be fantastic, if I could just get a partner who managed to stay alive long enough.
Book(s) in which this character appears plus links
The forthcoming “Doctors in Hell” anthology.
Stay tuned…you’ll be seeing much more of Daemon Grim in the future…
Andrew P. Weston
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